Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Street Level

Winter is one of my favorite months, I prefer the cold and wind of the cooler months the heat and stagnation of summer. I have been feeling rather rushed and chaotic after our big move, still finding where to put stuff, what works best, remembering where I put things. The economy, motherhood, first son in school, move, lack of sleep, even my food intolerances have taken their toll on my creativity. I feel rather lost without an outlet to process my world, I didn't realize it really until recently. Today, I got out to take a walk, just to get out of the house, to feel the wind on my face and experience my new world in a different way. I didn't bring my camera, just my cell phone (which does take decent pictures.) I didn't want my focus to be to take pictures, I wanted to feel something.

As I was walking, I realized I would have to go across the skyway over I-5. I then realized that I had never stepped foot on that bridge before, and I love bridges. The skyway has been there for some years now, and though I have only recently moved back, I would come to the island many times and had lot of opportunities to walk that bridge, but I never had. I was always driving. Always moving fast enough to get to where I needed to go to maxamize my time and crunch as much stuff into the trip.

Walking presented me with an interesting perspective. I approached everything at a much slower speed. There was time to stare as I was walking by, time to consider, time to wonder. I wondered how long the quaint catholic church on the corner had been there. I wondered about the historic house I passed, the last name was the same as one of the local streets, I wondered about the people in the shops, what kind of conversations they were having, what they were eating and drinking, why they ate there. I found an unexpected comfort in the steady rhythm of my footsteps, fast enough to get the benefit of exercise, but slow enough to be able to concentrate on other things.


The route I had taken wasn't very long, I took my time, stopping to take a couple pictures to remind me of this theraputic walk I took, a sort of memento to look back and recall how this day felt to me. I was reminded that for me, and I am sure for many other photographers, photography isn't just about "capturing the moment", I am actually sick of this phrase, it's so syrupy sweet to me. It's about truth. It's about all your senses. Can you remember the smells of your wedding day because of a picture you have? Do you remember sounds? Touch? I love some of the wedding photography, but it seems a lot of it is contrived and ends up being eye-candy instead of mementos. The walk I took today was real and unrehearsed and I felt like my spirit had a spa day. I am planning to take another walk soon...no kids, no professional camera. I want to live in the moment I am walking into. If I don't know what life feels like for me, how am I going to recognize it for others?